Thanks for joining me!
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter.
Izaak Walton
I spent quite a lot of 2018 wishing the outside world would just go away and leave me alone – so what better way to re-engage than with a blog to bare my soul and house the random musings of my frequently befuddled mind?
I think it’s safe to say that my life hasn’t turned out quite how I would have liked! I can summarise my current status in a few numbers:
| Age (in years) | 34 |
| Spouse | 0 |
| Children | 0 |
| Job | 0 |
| Working days in 2018 spent off sick (percent) | 98 |
| Weight (in pounds) | 254 |
| Body mass index (BMI) | 40 |
| Dress size | 20/22 |
Needless to say, I feel judged and constrained by many of these numbers (by myself and by others), and I would rather some of these numbers were higher and others lower.
I am the first to admit that I have no desire to conform to society expectations of size, shape, lifestyle, etc., but I would like to feel comfortable in my own skin, be at peace with my life, and be physically and mentally able to embrace things I enjoy, rather than being categorised by numbers and governed by depression and anxiety.
Yep, the reason for all those sick days (and ultimately being made redundant) is depression and anxiety.
So I hope you won’t mind if I try to make sense here of the tangle of threads, thoughts and worries that churn in my mind. And if my haphazard mind dumps can help anyone else along the way I will be thrilled.
Wish me luck!
Musings of a Muddled Mind 