I’ve been a bit down recently. Time of year, anniversaries of losses, job rejections, the list goes on.

I’ve stopped beating myself up trying to fully understand the whys and wherefores for every mood swing but instead try to motivate myself to do things that might help alleviate the mood’s severity or duration.

My latest tactic has been binge-watching the comedy gold that is Victoria Wood’s Dinnerladies – The Complete First Series [DVD] [1998].

There’s nothing like a genuine laugh out loud sitcom to brighten the gloom.

Here’s my top 20 quotes from series 1.

20. Episode 6: Night shift

Dolly – Who did this gravy?

Bren – Stan.

Dolly – Men can’t whisk. It’s the testosterone.

19. Episode 4: Moods

Twinkle – He’d done us a frozen pizza. He’d just taken it out the oven and, you know.

Bren – Did he use protection?

Twinkle – Oven mitts.

18. Episode 5: Party

Tony – Saw your mum doing the hokey cokey with Mr Tashimoto, Bren. Quite hard to do to Mull of Kintyre.

17. Episode 4: Moods

Dolly – I’ve worked on my pelvic floor. Jean’s moreorless let hers dangle.

16. Episode 5: Party

Petula – Has she told you what a terrible mother I am? Put her in an orphanage and lost the address!

15. Episode 6: Night shift

Bren – What did I get him? Mints, a big bar of chocolate and a magazine.

Dolly – Is that pornography? Why not a nice hobby magazine?

Bren – Well, that is his hobby really.

14. Episode 2: Royals

Duke – Do you know what you absolutely cannot get in the Caribbean for love nor money?… You could offer them the weight of your left testicle in sterling silver and still they couldn’t oblige. I’ll tell you, a bacon sandwich. The bacon in the Caribbean is indescribable.

Bren – Why? Is it not crispy?

Duke – Crispy? The thigh of a pensioned-off lollipop lady would have more bite to it.

13. Episode 4: Moods

Jean – I was not gawping. I just suddenly thought I’d got my pants on the wrong way round. The label seemed be digging in on the opposite leg.

Tony – Shall I check, Jean?

Jean – So I put my hand down, it was a bran flake.

12. Episode 4: Moods

Tony – Dead, and never seen Bren’s bosoms. If I’d been dying, would you have shown them to me?

Bren – I might have.

Tony – Do you want to get one out now as a deposit?

11. Episode 5: Party

Petula – The trouble with shoplifting, you can’t try things on. Shall we go, Stan?

Bren – That’s Tony!

Petula – Do excuse me, I man a helpline at midnight.

10. Episode 6: Night shift

Dolly – We had to practice writing when I was at school. The little boy next door can only write his name in macaroni. How’s he going to move onto joined up writing?

Bren – He’ll have to have a pencil case long enough to hold spaghetti.

9. Episode 4: Moods

Jane – Hi Tony, can I have 12 rounds of white?

Tony – You can have a bottle of wine and a night of hot sex if you’d rather.

Jane – I can’t, I’ve got cystitis. I can’t have a drink til Thursday.

8. Episode 3: Scandal

Sheila – I’ve got high blood pressure and water retention. Do you know what that gives you?

Bren – Boiling water?

7. Episode 2: Royals

Tony – Dolly, they’re coming to cop a load of shepherd’s pie. Where does weight come into it?

Dolly – I retain water. Do you want me to bloat up?

Tony – I’m easy.

Dolly – You’re lucky, men don’t swell up without warning.

Tony – No, we get some warning I suppose.

6. Episode 1: Monday

Philippa – They think now that pressure at work can affect your sex life. They did a questionnaire – “Are you too busy to have an orgasm?”

Jean – Orgasm! I haven’t blown my nose since Wednesday.

5. Episode 3: Scandal

Jean – It’s a load of codswash, dieting. All that misery for what? You could fall under a bus tomorrow.

Dolly – I could. You wouldn’t fit under a bus, it would have to be jacked up.

4. Episode 1: Monday

Tony – Did you get any?

Bren – Any sex? No, I had to go to the laundrette.

3. Episode 1: Monday

Tony – What’s that?

Jean – That? That’s a padded balcony.

Tony – And is this for anything?…

Jean – I have to organise my daughter’s wedding.

Tony – I knew that.

Jean – And obviously go to it…So I have to have a new bra.

Tony – No, 4 faults for a refusal. He’s turning round, he’s having another go. Why, Jean? Who’s going to see it?

Jean – Nobody’s going to see it.

Tony – Take me home, Bren. Show me how a woman’s mind works. And what is that!?

Jean – That’s the DD strapless push-up.

Tony– No, I’m going to have to go and sit down and order some brown sauce.

2. Episode 4: Moods

Tony – All a bloke really wants for Christmas is a voucher that says “Take this to 32 Sycamore Avenue. Mrs Janet Farnsbarnes will be stark naked waiting for you. You can have as long as you like, you get a cup of tea afterwards and you don’t have to have a bloody conversation.”

1. Episode 4: Moods

Tony – I’m standing a good chance of getting to be a dirty old man… So when you’re in your old folks home, plonked on your commode in front of the telly, I’ll come and flash at you through the window.

Bren – Tap on it first, make sure I’ve got my specs on.